Yeah, I'm letting go.. okay?

ONE WEEK. One week.
Hanggang dun lang ba talaga kaya mo Caren?
Hanggang dun lang ba talaga?

B: Can you say that we're okay na?
--- I really don't know...

Maybe I can't move on. Maybe ang hirap masyado sakin na gawin yun.


Let's make a keyword... If you don't want to fight anymore and you're ready to drop it, just say.. I love you.
That's all you have to say.

Okay, I'll just make this quick 'cause I might not be able to wake up early tomorrow. Hahaha. "I have a pimple, and I'm having a date this weekend. Ugh." Kidding.

Anyway, B was supposed to be sleeping around 9 and he suddenly called me around 1030pm. It was really weird though. He said, Carlo's going with a friend in Shang tomorrow and he's asking if I'm available so that we could play. I said Car and I are going to UP. Eh I wanna be with him talaga. Sabi ko it's okay if we could hang-out even for a while. So yun. Eh kala ko nagyayaya siyang magShang, yun pala Badminton. Ohwell. SAYANG. Eh before ako nagyes kay Car, I have this feeling na baka mamaya if ever available siya, tumapat pa sa Wednesday. And yeah, tumapat nga sa Wednesday. Dang. :| Eh as much as possible, I wanna make myself free for him. As in I wanna clear my week para available ako anytime. But theeeen, that only one time na hindi ako available, dun pa siya pwede. Daaaamn. Sayang talagaaaaaa.

Hay nako Caren, trust your instincts forever. AS IN. :<

CMOOOOOON. Sayang talaga, SWEAR! :(




Ohgod, if you only knew how much I really miss you. AS IN SOOOOOBRA. Dang.

Imma give you a super tight bear hug tomorrow. I SHALL. :)
Can't wait. :)

This is soooo sad. I have this new addiction in Facebook--Pet society. But theeen, I've been waiting for hours na pero seems like hindi pa siya magiging okay. Na-under maintenance kasi. :(

Dang. :( Ohhweell.


Btw, I've been sad for two days already. I know I should be happy with this buuut daaaaang. It's really making me sad. :( I SO MISS HIM. I MISS HIM SO DAMN MUCH. :( Okay, we're texting but we easily get bored eh. Cmon, kahit di niya sabihin, it's so obvious naman. Ohwell, I miss his voice. Sobra. :( Kahit nakausap ko pa siya for more than an hour, STILL. :( I MISS HIM. Damndamndamn. :((

I bet sa Saturday ko pa siya makakausap. I BET. :( SO SAD.

Exactly affter three months of waiting...
and after saying no twice...

Yes, this is the day I finally said yes to him. This was also the day I decided to let go of C and finally go for Johann, three months ago.

You maybe wondering how it all happened. I tell you, it's not sweet how we, girls, wanted our fairy tales to happen. To be honest, I really want a fairy tale of my own. Something to brag to my friends. But you know what, who needs that when fairy tales are supposed to be for the impossibles only. The fact that all of this happened is already making the used-to-be impossible, possible. I guess things you don't really imagine to happen, can really happen. I still can't believe someone like him will really love me. Like for more than a year ago, I used to have a distant crush on him. We weren't introduced yet formally, but I knew him already. And now, look what we have. I still can't believe things can really happen. A LOT CAN REALLY HAPPEN. :)

We went through a lot of conflicts. And with that, I still think three months is not yet enough. But wait, when will it be enough? I think he waited enough. There are a lot of ifs going through my mind, but who cares? Think of what's more important. Now is important. Something like this can never happen again. Opportunities are given once, but regrets can last a lifetime. So follow your heart. I guess it's time to give it all. Forget those worries. Worries will always be there. It will never go away. If this will make you happy, you have to go for it. After all, who doesn't want to happy anyway?

How it all happened? We were in Starbucks in Shang this afternoon. He tried getting me into a serious talk.
Johann: Do you trust me?
Me: Yes.
Johann: Is it enough?
Me: I guess.
Johann: I have a question, can I be yours?
Me: Do you really want me to answer now?

I've been thinking about it every single day since you first asked me that question. I always asked myself is it really enough? Am I now ready? I really don't know the answer. But now, I'm still not sure but I'm giving it a shot. The fact that I love him. I think that's more than enough.

And so we were inside his car, on our way home.
Me: Yes.

I'm really happy to have someone like him in my life. This is the day that I'm going to love again. No ifs. LOVE. :)

I love you, Johann. :"> <3
Thank you for having me in your life. :)

We'll make everything work, okay? :)

1. Just because it's Valentine's, that's the only time you'll be sweet to your loved one. NOOOT.  
2. You don't have to spend just to be sweet.